What if the key to overcoming anxiety isn’t in fighting it, but in learning to let it go? We live in a world that seems to be spinning faster every day, and new stressors are constantly being thrown at us while we stumble through life. Oftentimes, the weight of these stressors can start to feel too heavy, causing us to experience mental and emotional cracks. For many, these cracks manifest as anxiety.
Anxiety can take countless forms, such as phobias, generalized anxiety, social anxiety, separation anxiety, and performance anxiety, to name a few. Anxiety is also closely linked with mental illnesses such as PTSD or OCD, and it can be the cause and the direct result of these ailments. While the ways in which anxiety presents itself differ between individuals, it has the potential to become absolutely debilitating for anyone, leading to occurrences such as panic attacks and the general deterioration of one’s physical, mental, and emotional well-being.
I write this as someone with their own long and complicated journey with anxiety. I was a highly competitive athlete as a child, and I put immense pressure on myself to perform and succeed starting at a very young age. I remember the feelings I would experience before competing, and if I think about them long enough, 10 years later, I can still feel them start to physically manifest just how they used to: shortness of breath, rapid heart rate, and a tightness in my whole body stemming from my chest and stomach.
As I grew older and stepped away from competitive sports, my performance anxiety began to transform into social anxiety. Growing up meant becoming aware of my appearance, behaviors, and the fact that others were also perceiving these parts of myself. I also came to the even scarier realization that I was not and never would be in control of how others perceive me. Throughout much of high school and the beginning of college, my social anxiety drove and controlled me. Oftentimes, when I tried to put myself out there, I would begin to feel anxious about whether or not I was coming across a certain way. Then I would start to get worried that I was acting strangely as a result of my anxiety, effectively making me feel even more anxious. Sometimes, the cycle felt inescapable.
I was introduced to Buddhism in my first year of college, which was just as my social anxiety was reaching an all-time high. It did not take long for me to understand that ancient Buddhist wisdom offers surprising antidotes that would help soothe my anxious mind. I have since spent my early adulthood working through my anxiety, and while I am not entirely rid of it, I feel more in control of it than it is of me. Five years ago, I embarked on a journey rooted in Buddhist wisdom and a consistent meditation practice, and it has had a transformational effect on my skills in anxiety management. For this reason, I always recommend an exploration of fundamental Buddhist principles to those who experience anxiety in any of its forms.
For centuries, Buddhist monks have mastered the art of stillness. Whether it is one’s heart or mind that is racing –if not both– there is no stillness in anxiety. As a result, being able to find that calm is a necessary first step in coping with anxiety. Thus, the wisdom of the Buddha’s teachings certainly has the potential to teach us about managing anxiety. But first, we must be willing to understand our anxiety through a Buddhist lens.
In Buddhist philosophy, duhkha refers to suffering or dissatisfaction, encompassing a broad range of experiences, including discomfort and anxiety. Specifically, duhkha is said to arise from attachment, aversion, and ignorance, and is rooted in clinging to transient phenomena and fearing their loss or change. Anxiety, like all forms of duhkha, stems from a misunderstanding of reality, specifically, from clinging to impermanent things and resisting the inevitable. Once we understand that all of our anxieties somehow fit within this description, we can begin to work through them.
Anxiety is the absence of stillness. It thrives on chaos, but what if you could quiet the noise by simply being present? Mindfulness plays a significant role in learning to be fully present. Mindfulness meditation is the practice of bringing one’s attention to the present moment with an attitude of openness and curiosity. It involves observing thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations as they arise, without clinging to them, resisting them, or labeling them as “good” or “bad.” This approach can be particularly effective in managing anxiety because it disrupts the cycle of worry and over-identification with anxious thoughts. When practiced consistently, mindfulness helps individuals develop a non-reactive awareness that fosters calm and clarity. It also strengthens the ability to respond thoughtfully to challenges rather than reacting impulsively, empowering us to take control of our anxiety.
In combination with a mindfulness practice, we can combat our anxiety-inducing attachments by practicing the art of letting go. Clinging to outcomes or resisting change fuels our anxious minds and causes us to obsess over phenomena we have no control over. By detaching from our expectations, need for control, and desires, we may accept that all experiences, including anxious feelings, are ever-changing and not worth dwelling on. This practice of letting go can bring a sense of liberation and freedom, allowing us to live more fully in the present moment.
When I began meditating, I realized that all of the anxieties I have and continue to experience stem from a need for control—an attachment I have been working through for many years now. I have also realized that understanding impermanence is easy, but actually detaching from desires, even when I logically understand that they are not permanent, is far more difficult.
The personal progress I have made in detaching from my desire for control has not been linear, and I often notice it become more prevalent when I am experiencing change or stress in multiple areas of my life. But when I notice myself begin to obsessively grasp for control, my consistent mindfulness practice has allowed me the space and awareness to work through it rather than let my desire for control dictate my feelings and actions.
By observing thoughts without attachment, mindfulness helps reduce rumination, a key driver of anxiety. For me, this helped break the seemingly inescapable cycle of overthinking. My mindfulness practice has allowed me to see anxious thoughts as temporary phenomena rather than fixed truths in moments that would have previously led to a spiral.
In terms of my social anxiety, I have learned that I cannot control the way that I am perceived, and there is no point in desperately grasping for that control. This doesn’t just mean acknowledging that I can’t change people’s judgments of me, but also behaving in a way that aligns with that understanding. For example, I can claim to detach from the desire to control how people feel about me. However, if I am still allowing my insecurities to shape how I behave, I am still, in some way, grasping for control by trying to come off a certain way and please people through unnatural, forced behaviors. At the end of the day, there is no point in trying to shape people’s perceptions about me in the exact same way that there is no point in anxiously obsessing over how people feel about me.
I am a 23-year-old woman living in the day and age of social media; not caring about what people think of me is not as easy as it may sound. But, I can confidently and proudly say that I have made immense progress toward not caring, and my ultimate goal in life is exactly that: not to care what people think of me at all. Compared with five years ago, the weight of caring and wondering what people think of me is much lighter. Beginning to let go of my desire for control in a way that specifically pertains to my ego and image has been the most liberating lesson I have learned since I began exploring Buddhism. I am tangibly happier and less anxious throughout my everyday life!
Nevertheless, I understand that my experience is my own, and I do not claim to understand everyone else’s experiences with anxiety. I recognize that detachment may be too intimidating and complicated a place to start. So, for those needing a simpler and practical introduction to a mindfulness practice that helps alleviate anxiety, I would recommend starting with simple meditation and breathing exercises to teach and train the mind to return to the present moment. Regular practice also calms the nervous system and lowers physiological symptoms of anxiety, like a racing heart or shallow breathing.
I would also recommend introducing daily rituals and mantras to foster stability and peace in countering self-criticism and fear. Cultivating compassion for oneself and others is essential. We all have the capacity to incorporate this through meditation, generosity, patience, and a commitment to self-improvement for the benefit of all beings, not just ourselves. This then has the power to evolve into more seemingly daunting practices, such as non-attachment.
Anxiety can be an overwhelming and often frightening experience, but Buddhist wisdom provides a path to navigate it. By encouraging mindfulness, self-awareness, and the understanding of impermanence, the Buddha’s teaching can and should empower individuals to look inward and detach from the desires that drive their anxious minds, and we may begin the journey towards finding calm.
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