I am a lifelong competitive athlete. I am also a lifelong self-critic. I believe that these two aspects of myself not only go hand-in-hand but have empowered one another over the years; that is, until I finally decided to prioritize enjoying my sports and fitness journey rather than allowing it to control my self-worth.
I have always been a competitor, constantly striving to win in contests against others and consistently beat my own records. In my eyes, improvement has always been a sign of strength, while regression or stagnation have not only been my worst fears but signs of weakness.
I started doing gymnastics at a very young age and began competing in elementary school. At the age of 15, I quit gymnastics and immediately joined the track team at my high school. I competed in numerous events through all four years of high school, and when I wasn’t at practice, I was often at the gym or the local college’s track training on my own accord. My life was heavily centered around my athletic performance, resulting in self-judgment and anxiety in numerous forms.
I decided not to continue my track and field career in college and instead try life without competitive sports. While letting go of my identity as a competitor quieted my inner critic, it did not take long before I began to miss the passion I had for athletics. Eventually, I discovered rock climbing, and my intense competitive spark and love for movement swiftly reignited. At the same time that climbing was taking on a significant role in my life, thankfully, so was my meditation practice.
While I initially began to fall back into harmful thought processes regarding my climbing performance, my ever-growing understanding of the Dharma and involvement in Buddhist organizations helped me simultaneously start to understand my relationship with sports and competition in ways I had never considered. Thus, I began my ongoing journey toward becoming an even-minded athlete who climbs and exercises out of enjoyment rather than a constant need to be better. While I earnestly still struggle with self-judgment when I climb, I am empowered by the progress I have made, as well as my understanding of how Buddhist wisdom can continue to help me become a more mindful and equanimous athlete.
Applying a Buddhist perspective to sports and competition can mean many things. In the simplest but arguably most foundational way, meditation can be a powerful tool for athletes in both competitive and non-competitive spaces. Regular meditation practice has been shown to improve cognitive functions, including concentration and emotional regulation. When utilized by athletes, this heightened focus may enhance both physical performance and one’s emotional response to the outcome of their performances.
Similarly, integrating Buddhist principles into fitness routines can transform all workouts into mindful practices. For instance, adopting the concept of no-mind allows individuals to engage in physical activity without being overly concerned with performance metrics or external validation. Practicing no-mind does not equate to the absence of goals but rather an ability to avoid over-identifying with them. No-mind specifically refers to a state of mental clarity and presence free from distracting thoughts or judgments. The no-minded mind remains on sensations of the present moment. It does not cling to ideas or emotions, but flows naturally and spontaneously with the here-and-now.
While I no longer compete against others, I now find myself in constant competition with my previous performances and my own expectations. As a result, when I climb, I tend to become distracted by my self-judgments, and stray away from no-mind. Thus, I have recently shifted most of my climbing goals from ones that are physically measurable to ones centered around mindful climbing; I aim to consistently climb freely, confidently, and with gratitude for a hobby that brings me so much fulfillment.
The Buddha taught that one of the leading causes of our suffering is attachment, which arises from clinging to people, things, or outcomes. Attachment causes suffering because we cling to things that are impermanent. When they change or disappear, we experience frustration and dissatisfaction. In my personal journey, the biggest challenge that I have faced has been letting go of my ego-driven attachments. For example, I have become attached to ideas of who I am, what I am capable of, what I strive to be capable of, and how I believe I should measure up to others.
In combatting cravings and attachments, Buddhism teaches non-attachment, which is the practice of fully engaging with life while letting go of the need to control outcomes, possessions, or identities. To detach from one’s identity, or ego, is also known as non-self. In recent years, non-self has been central to my personal development, and it has forced me to entirely reconsider and deconstruct my ideas of who I am, especially as an athlete.
In recognizing that my identity is not fixed, I have been forced to release my clinging to personal achievements and failures. In sports, this translates to focusing on the process rather than the outcome, thereby reducing pressure to win and ultimately fostering a healthier mindset. By letting go of ego and preconceptions, athletes like myself can approach any form of competition with humility and openness, leading to improved personal growth: and, very likely, improved performance as well!
Beyond my own experiences and attachments, there are many other harmful attachments that athletes tend to cling to, such as body image, praise, and perfection. Non-attachment, in the context of fitness, not only means letting go of ego-based attachments but all unrealistic standards. By practicing the middle path, one may find a comfortable mindset in which they work towards their goals while still embracing themselves as they are in each moment. By practicing non-attachment, individuals can shift their focus from how they are perceived externally to their health and well-being, thereby fostering a more positive self-image.
Training with presence means steering clear of comparison, a habit that often leads to dissatisfaction and jealousy. By focusing on our own progress and experiences in sports and fitness, we align with the Buddhist path to liberation from craving. This approach fosters a sense of contentment and reduces the mental clutter that can hinder our mood and performance.
Ultimately, incorporating Buddhist teachings into sports and fitness provides a pathway to mental growth and enhanced enjoyment while still allowing practitioners to set goals and work diligently. By embracing meditation, letting go of ego, practicing non-attachment, and focusing on the present moment, athletes can cultivate a mindful approach to their physical endeavors. This holistic mindset not only enhances athletic performance but also fosters mental and emotional well-being, ultimately leading to a more balanced and fulfilling life.
As mentioned, I am on this journey, and I can confirm that it is a long one. I still get caught up in negative inner dialogues. When I don’t perform as well as I expect to in a session, it’s easy to fall back on comparisons and labels, often labeling workouts as “good” or “bad” based on whether I met my own expectations. Nevertheless, it has become just as easy for me to identify those thoughts as ego-driven, which is an essential first step towards pulling myself out of those mental spaces and returning to the present moment.
In doing so, I have found great joy in gratitude for movement and my body, even on days when I wish I would have done better. I have also come to understand that, in reality, regression and stagnation are not indicators of weakness, but rather signs of humanness and impermanence. Mindful movement invites us to let go of striving and return to presence – to meet effort without clinging, and competition without ego. In this way, exercise becomes a path not of self-improvement, but of self-liberation.
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