Why Bother? Versus Unbothered

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By Margaret Meloni, PhD
March 25, 2025

I recently read a novel in which part of the story takes place in Los Angeles in the 1950s. The 1950s were a time of immense social and political upheaval in the United States. Fueled by anti-Communist sentiment and the looming threat of nuclear destruction, an atmosphere charged with paranoia and fear hung over the nation. People who were accused of being communists and unpatriotic lost their jobs. In this story, some of these so-called subversives are in a place of despondency. They believe that very soon the Russians are going to drop The Bomb on the United States. They do not see the point of committing to any specific direction or belief system in life because—why bother? Why care about tomorrow, if everyone will be incinerated?

When faced with seemingly overwhelming societal challenges, it is all too easy to succumb to feelings of hopelessness. Why bother with personal growth and spiritual practice when the fate of humanity seems so bleak? This line of questioning resonates with many who feel caught in a cycle of despair, perpetuated by the relentless barrage of negative news and political upheaval.

Yet despite all of this, your goal is equanimity, not apathy. Do not cut off your feelings; recognize them, work with them, and find a way to calm your mind. Maintaining a spiritual practice is imperative, even (and perhaps especially) when the world feels out of control. Remember: the world was never really in control.

Spirituality is not about escaping the harsh realities of life or pretending that challenges don’t exist. Rather, it is a means of grounding yourself, allowing for a calm and engaged response to adversity. Your practice will not eliminate the world’s problems. It will provide you with a foundation upon which you can build your capacity to remain steady amid the storms of life. Engaging consistently in spiritual practices helps you to foster a sense of stability that can withstand external chaos.

You may feel a type of existential doubt. Denying these feelings only exacerbates them, while acknowledgment opens the door to healing. Recognizing doubt and dread may help you to shed some light on your attachments and aversions, allowing for deeper insights into your reactions to the world. If you begin to feel like your practice does not make a difference, ask yourself questions such as: “What is the purpose of my Buddhist practice?” “What expectations do I have?” “Are these expectations reasonable?” This awareness can cultivate healthier responses.

Your spiritual practice is not a retreat from the world but a new way of engaging with it—a way to cultivate inner strength and compassionate action. In difficult times, the community becomes a vital source of support. Engaging with like-minded individuals who share your spiritual values can reinforce your practice and provide a sense of belonging. Helping others who are suffering puts your own suffering into perspective.

By remaining committed to your practice, you are strengthening your resilience. Rather than becoming apathetic, like the characters from the novel, work toward equanimity. Recognize the fear and suffering, but don’t say, “Why bother?” Instead, seek to be unbothered. Not unfeeling, just not reactive. You are looking for a balanced state that will allow you to interact with what is happening in your world without becoming overwhelmed.

Let your beliefs provide a reminder of your values. Consider what is really important and ask, “What can I do to make things better?” This is the way to combine your spiritual practice and the external world. Don’t let what happens in the world, in your life, bring you to apathy; do let it bring you to more frequent practice. To sit with and speak with others who share your concerns. To work together to become more resilient and balanced. Now, when you know how you can make things better, you will have the ability to do so. You will not be paralyzed by hopelessness. You are less likely to feel overwhelmed.

But also know that there may still be moments when you lose hope or become burned out. And back to your practice, you go. But not alone; go back to your community. In this way, you will each help one another. Like a relay race, sometimes one of you rests, while the other one runs—thus someone is always on the track, moving toward the finish line.

Your practice is meant to sustain you during all of the times of your life, the easy and less stressful days, and the days where you lose hope and question everything. You were never promised that this would be easy, that meditating and chanting and studying suttas would spare you. You knew there would be suffering along the way, and that clinging and aversion would cause it, just as you know that there is a way out. Apathy is not the answer. Abandoning your work is not the answer.

Pace yourself, build your resilience, and keep going.

Margaret Meloni, PhD

Margaret Meloni is a Theravada Buddhist practitioner, businessperson, and the author of Carpooling with Death: How living with Death will make you Stronger, Wiser and Fearless. One day, while navigating the demands of everyday life; she realized that more significant challenges were coming her way. She began to realize that the people she loved were going to die. Her mother-in-law, Lee, was in her 90s, her parents were approaching their 80s, and her husband, Ed, had already outlived his father. She had already said goodbye to others. She began to wonder, “How can I handle losing the people I love the most?” The answer to her question came from her reliance on her Buddhist practice. Now that she has made friends with death, her goal is to help all of us to accept death as an essential part of life. Death Dhamma is published monthly.

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