The Korean Seon (Zen) master Venerable Pomnyun Sunim (법륜스님) wears many hats: Buddhist monk, teacher, author, environmentalist, and social activist, to name a few.* As a widely respected Dharma teacher and a tireless socially engaged activist in his native South Korea, Ven. Pomnyun Sunim has founded numerous Dharma-based organizations, initiatives, and projects that are active across the world. Among them, Jungto Society, a volunteer-based community founded on the Buddhist teachings and expressing equality, simple living, and sustainability, is dedicated to addressing modern social issues that lead to suffering, including environmental degradation, poverty, and conflict.
This column, shared by Jungto Society, presents highlights from Ven. Pomnyun Sunim’s writings, teachings, public talks, and regular live-streamed Dharma Q+A sessions, which are accessible across the globe.
The following teachings were given in person in Las Vegas on 18 September 2024.
Talking with a friend
Following a video introduction, Ven. Pomnyun Sunim took to the stage in Las Vegas to enthusiastic applause. He smiled and offered his opening remarks.
Ven. Pomnyun Sunim: I didn’t realize it at first, but after checking, I found that it’s been 10 years since I last visited Las Vegas. After visiting in 2014 for the 100 Dharma Q&A World Tour, I couldn’t visit due to COVID-19. I’m happy to be here and meeting you today.
The topic I want to share with you today is not about knowledge or philosophy, but about the suffering we experience in our lives. You can talk comfortably, as if you’re talking to a friend. If you have any difficulties or suffering you experience in life, regardless of the type, this is a time to talk about them together.
A few days ago, in a conversation in Seattle, a woman said she was having a hard time because her husband had passed away. I understand completely. So I asked her like this and had a conversation:
“Before you got married, did you live alone? Or did you live with someone else?”
“I lived alone.”
“There was no problem then, right?”
“That’s right.”
“When you get married and live together, and then separate either through death or divorce, you’ve just returned to your original state. You’re going back to when you originally lived alone, so what’s the problem? If necessary, you can get married again.”
“Ah! That’s right. There’s no problem at all.”
The conversation ended with laughter like this. This is how we can have a conversation. Shall we begine now?
Three of my partners have died
Q: I seek your wisdom. My husband of five years died in 1985 when my daughter was three years old. My ex-fiancé died in early 1990s, and my boyfriend of six years who lived organically and shared his findings on beneficial vitamins on his website became sick in January of 2022 and died that April. Each death was caused by a different disease of the heart. I feel that there’s something about my personality that attracts this, so how can I change this pattern?
Ven. Pomnyun Sunim: If you had directly caused their deaths, you would be responsible. However, they died because their time had come, so it has nothing to do with you. When something happens twice in the same way, we tend to fall into a bit of mysticism. We start thinking, “Is this my fate?” But it’s just a coincidence that similar events happened twice in a row. Even if it happened three times in a row, it’s not anything special.
Let’s take the example of rolling dice. A die has numbers from 1–6. When you roll it, one of these numbers will come up. Mathematically, the probability of getting a one is one in six. However, if you roll the die six times, it doesn’t necessarily mean that one will come up exactly once. It might not come up at all, it might come up once, twice, or even all six times. The probability of it coming up once is just the highest. So even if you rolled all ones six times in a row, it doesn’t mean it’s fate. The probability is low, but it can happen. As the number of rolls increases, say to a thousand or 10,000 times, the probability of rolling a one gets closer and closer to one in six. The probability derived from actual experimental results is called experimental probability, and this experimental probability approaches the mathematical probability as the number of trials increases.
However, when something happens two or three times, people tend to try to rationalize it and draw conclusion. I’ve been running a school for untouchables in India for about 30 years. In that village, there’s an atmosphere where I’m seen as somewhat of a mystical figure. One year, there was a drought and they couldn’t plant rice, but as soon as I visited it rained. At first, it was nothing special. But the next year when I went, the same thing happened again. So people started thinking, “Ah! The monk brings rain.” And when it happened again on my next visit, people completely believed that I bring rain. So the following year, when the drought was severe, they requested that I should come. (Laughter)
This is how the brain works: when something happens repeatedly, we tend to draw conclusions, “Ah! This is how it is.” So even if what you’re worried about happened three times, not just twice, it has nothing to do with you.
And if I may offer another piece of advice, there are some personality traits that can contribute to such occurrences. In the Eastern philosophies of Yin and Yang and the Five Elements, for example, if a husband’s personality is Wood and the wife’s is Metal, even if externally it appears that the husband is beating and abusing the wife, the husband will die first. This is because if you hit metal with wood, although the wood is doing the hitting, it’s the wood that breaks. In this case, it’s not the metal’s responsibility. It’s the wood’s responsibility for hitting the metal, not the metal’s. However, if you understand this principle, metal should avoid wood. That is, when the husband feels angry, instead of arguing about who’s right or wrong, you should say, “You’re right,” and avoid conflict. If this were happening now, I could advise you. But this is already in the past. I want to tell you that you have no responsibility for this.”
Q: So let it go?
Ven. Pomnyun Sunim: Yes, that’s a good thing. Because he died, you now have more opportunities—you can remarry or live alone. In the past, everyone thought you had to live with just one person, so they would say, “This woman has bad luck with husbands.” But if you remove this standard of having to live with just one person, you could actually be seen as someone with good luck with men. In today’s world, those who live with only one person until the end are actually the unlucky ones. Whether someone is “lucky” or “unlucky” all depends on how you set the standard.
If we go back to the fundamentals, we can’t say there’s luck or no luck, things just happened as they did. Philosophically, this is expressed as “emptiness.” When you understand emptiness, there’s nothing to be troubled about.
Q: Thank you.
I survived a mass-shooting incident
Q: After surviving a tragic incident, in the Buddhist teaching, is there any way that we can live a new and better life? I was in a mass-shooting and was shot 10 times, but miraculously survived.
Ven. Pomnyun Sunim: Surviving a near-death situation can be either better or worse, depending on how you view it. In Buddhism, nothing is inherently good or bad; it takes the perspective that people create what is good and bad.
If I nearly died but survived, what could be the negative aspect? It’s when that pain becomes a trauma that hinders my future life. In this case, past experiences become obstacles to the present and future. However, if you realize after nearly dying, “Ah, if I had died, all the things I was attached to in the past would have been meaningless!” it becomes beneficial for your future life. It allows you to let go of all attachments right away when you survive. Whether you have a lot of money or little, whether you part with your family or not, you can always live a life satisfied just by being alive. As a result, all fears disappear.
People like Jesus or the Buddha are those who have died once and been reborn. Jesus died as a carpenter’s son and was reborn as the Son of God. Siddhartha Gautama also died as a sentient being and was reborn as the Buddha. Many of history’s great saints have come to the brink of death and been reborn like this. They became free people with no attachments to the world and no fear.
If you hold onto this near-death experience as a bad experience that no one else has had, then the experience remains as a wound. However, if through this experience you have become a free person, then it can be said to be an incredibly blessed experience for you. What determines this is yourself.
Will you continue to be trapped in that pain? Or will you be grateful for surviving regardless of the experience and enjoy the joy? Your choice in response to this question will determine whether you will live freely or painfully in the present and future. This is what the Buddha taught. If we take the path to freedom through the Buddha’s teachings, we can say that is the Buddha’s grace.”
Q: Thank you.
After the conversation, Sunim went down to the audience seats to shake hands and greet the questioners and attendees. The mass shooting survivor also came to greet him. Sunim held his hand firmly.
“I’m still trying to overcome the emotional wounds after the shooting incident, and your words today have been a great help. Thank you sincerely.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
* Buddhist Monk Ven. Pomnyun Sunim Awarded the 37th Niwano Peace Prize (BDG)
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