The Korean Seon (Zen) master Venerable Pomnyun Sunim (법륜스님) wears many hats: Buddhist monk, teacher, author, environmentalist, and social activist, to name a few.* As a widely respected Dharma teacher and a tireless socially engaged activist in his native South Korea, Ven. Pomnyun Sunim has founded numerous Dharma-based organizations, initiatives, and projects that are active across the world. Among them, Jungto Society, a volunteer-based community founded on the Buddhist teachings and expressing equality, simple living, and sustainability, is dedicated to addressing modern social issues that lead to suffering, including environmental degradation, poverty, and conflict.
This column, shared by Jungto Society, presents a series of highlights from Ven. Pomnyun Sunim’s writings, teachings, public talks, and regular live-streamed Dharma Q+A sessions, which are accessible across the globe.
The following teachings were given on 5 September 2024 in Sydney, Australia.
All suffering is created by the mind
Ven. Pomnyun Sunim arrived at the venue, walking onto the stage to enthusiastic applause and greeting the attendees with a bright smile. Ven. Pomnyun Sunim began the conversation by sharing his experiences in Bhutan in the week prior.
Ven. Pomnyun Sunim: I left Korea and traveled through several countries before arriving in Sydney today. Before coming here, I visited Bhutan, where I conducted a two-day workshop with local officials to create a new model for sustainable development in the era of climate crisis. Under the slogan, “Let’s make our village more beautiful before asking others for help,” they are working on local development together with residents. Of course, major projects such as building large roads or power plants need to be done by the government or with foreign support. However, for small-scale projects within the village, they are now carrying out a voluntary movement in Bhutan, saying, “Let’s cultivate our village ourselves” instead of waiting for external support.
Many people are unable to live their own lives, and instead ask others or gods for help. But why can’t humans, who are considered the lords of all creation, manage their own lives? Even wild animals and tiny insects, which are much weaker than humans, live their own lives independently. It’s worth considering why humans, who are supposed to be far superior, can’t live on their own strength and need to ask others for help.
On closer examination, we can see that this is not an ecological problem. It’s a problem caused by human misconceptions—especially in developed countries, people relying on others or on gods to manage their lives should be seen as a mental health issue.
Ven. Pomnyun Sunim: What I’m currently doing around the world is to help people adopt the perspective of living life independently. To do this, we need to realize that our suffering and stresses don’t come from others or from outside, but from our own foolishness. If we can break free from this foolishness, we can all live freely and happily.
This gathering today is an opportunity for you to share your troubles or stresses instead of struggling alone, so that we can work through them together through conversation. Let’s examine where the cause of suffering lies and free ourselves from it to live freely.
With the development of artificial intelligence and in-depth online search capabilities these days there’s no need to discuss knowledge-based issues here, because you can find all that information by searching the internet. However, the suffering and stresses we experience aren’t easily resolved by talking about them somewhere. Most people end up going to psychiatrists or counseling centers, but those places require payment. Here, however, you don’t need to pay, and there are no restrictions on topics: anyone can engage in conversation. If you have any difficulties or questions that arise in your life, feel free to ask.
Shall we begin?
How can we avoid stress in relationships?
Q: How can I have patience even when I’m struggling because of other people?
Ven. Pomnyun Sunim: Patience means enduring. Why do you need to endure?
Q: I think I need to have patience to live with people at home or at work because even though the other person stresses me out, I still want to be there for them.
Ven. Pomnyun Sunim: When you say you need patience in certain situations, it means that you’re experiencing stress in that situation. Instead of thinking, “How can I endure this?” you should think, “Why am I feeling stressed?” In other words, we shouldn’t focus on the result—always examine the cause first.
For example, saying, “I need to have patience with my wife,” means that your wife is causing you stress and you’re enduring it. In this case, we should first examine what actions of your wife are causing you stress. Your wife isn’t saying or doing these things to stress you out. She’s just living according to her own style. It’s just that you don’t like it, so you’re feeling stressed.
This isn’t a matter of endurance. It’s a question of whether you can acknowledge that your wife is different from you and respect her as she is. If you can do that, you won’t feel stressed: “From my wife’s perspective, she might think this way.”
If you can have this understanding, you won’t feel stressed. This understanding, based on acceptance, we call love. Saying, “I like you,” is just desire. But desire turns into hatred and resentment when the other person doesn’t accept our love. However, if you understand the other person as they are, you’ll never feel hatred or anger. Understanding is love. Love without understanding is violence. Sexual harassment and sexual violence occur when there’s no understanding of the other person’s conditions and one acts solely based on their own desires.
Ven. Pomnyun Sunim: Therefore, if you’re feeling stressed because of someone else, you first need to acknowledge that you and the other person are different: “My wife is different from me, my children are different from me, and my superiors and juniors at work are different from me.” When you acknowledge that we’re all different, anger doesn’t arise in your mind and your mind becomes peaceful.
Let’s say, for example, that I’m the owner of a store selling pens. The price of a pen is $5. If a customer comes and asks for a pen for $1, you might think, “Are they trying to get it for free? What kind of customer is this?” and then feel upset. However, from the customer’s perspective, it’s natural to want to buy anything as cheaply as possible, right? It’s a common psychological tendency for everyone to want to buy cheap and sell expensive. If you simply understand that, “This customer really wants to buy it very cheaply,” you won’t feel stressed. In other words, if you accept the other person as they are, your mind will be at ease.
If the customer seems to be in a difficult financial situation, you might even want to give them the item for free. In that case, if the customer offered even $1, you’d feel grateful, wouldn’t you? If not, and instead you think, “I absolutely can’t sell the item for $1,” you can explain your reason: “I’d like to sell it to you for $1, but the cost price is $3, and considering rent and labor costs, I need to charge $5 to make a living.”
You can explain this to the customer. Then you can continue your business without feeling stressed. Therefore, we can see that the question, “How should I endure when customers stress me out while doing business?” is not logical. The reason for stress is not the customer’s attitude, but your own desires.
Q: That’s a clear answer. Thank you.
After answering further questions, Ven. Pomnyun Sunim held book-signing on the stage, greeting each person individually. Participants expressed their gratitude, with one observing: “I recently completed Introduction to Buddhism I class with Jungto Dharma School. Thanks to you, my life has become so much happier, and I’m continuing my studies in the Introduction to Buddhism II.
* Buddhist Monk Ven. Pomnyun Sunim Awarded the 37th Niwano Peace Prize (BDG)
See more
Pomnyun
Jungto Society
JTS Korea
JTS America
International Network of Engaged Buddhists
Related features from BDG
Walking the Bodhisattva Path of Compassion
Cultivating a Buddhist Perspective on Life
The Future of Religion
Children Should be Educated at the Right Time
If You Become a Practitioner, Practice Like the Buddha
Celebrating an Ancient Dharma Lineage
Related videos from BDG
Dharma Q+A with Ven. Pomnyun Sunim
Wisdom Notes from Ven. Pomnyun Sunim
