Beginner’s Mind is a special project collecting insightful essays written by US college students who have attended experiential-learning courses related to Buddhism. Some of the authors identify as Buddhists, for others it is their first encounter with the Buddhadharma. All are sharing reflections and impressions on what they’ve learned, how it has impacted their lives, and how they might continue to engage with the teaching.
Parker Fry wrote this essay for her Buddhist Modernism course at the University of Southern California. Parker is a senior majoring in Business Administration with an emphasis in entrepreneurship and innovation.
Finding Stillness in the Storm
When I enrolled in this course, my goal was to concentrate on my studies and earn a good grade. I was interested in learning more about Buddhism as a philosophy and how it differed from the Western customs I was raised with but, amid such a chaotic period in the world, I did not anticipate that the course would meet me where I was on an emotional and spiritual level. Yet I’ve learned to see the world with compassion and clarity for everything around me thanks to this class.
One of the first things that resonated with me was the concept of vispassana, insight. Through the lectures, readings, and Perusall social learning annotations, I began to see that my own suffering came from holding on to impermanent things (Pali: anicca) and from a false sense of fixed identity (Pali: anatta). I am a control freak, I try to control outcomes, I hold on tightly to all relationships, and I value myself through my achievements and not as a person. But this course encouraged me to take a step back and examine the deeper roots of this perpsective, not just in my own life but in society as well. It encouraged me to take a deeper look at myself and how I hold my value.
Another concept that stayed with me was paticcasamuppada (Pali, interdependence). This idea challenged the way I see my relationship with the world around me. It helped me come to realize that nothing exists in isolation. As someone who largely values and puts my value in my independence and personal achievement, this was a realization that I needed. It has inspired me to go beyond myself and reflect on how I contribute to the development of others and help them grow. My interactions and conflict-resolution techniques have become more deliberate as a result of this reflection. I am going to work hard to carry this beyond this course into both personal and professional spaces.
Next, learning about the trivisa: greed, hatred, and delusion, also known as the three unwholesome roots, was key for me. I began to acknowledge when these three words would manifest in my life or those of others, sometimes without realizing. This awareness helped me to have more compassion for people who tend to act out of anger and encouraged me to hold myself to a higher standard. I even noticed it with people very close to me, but learned that it is better to be the bigger person and not engage with these three poisons. Whether it is how I communicate, support others, or make decisions about my future, I plan to shift toward kusala, which are wholesome actions.
In addition to this, another major shift has been in my relationship with mindfulness.
Before enrolling in this course, meditation felt forced and like a chore that I needed to “get right” but was unsure how to do. Yet I discovered that mindfulness can be found in routine tasks such as walking, cleaning, and so on, and this relieved me of the pressure to do everything perfectly. I now look for the moments of stillness amid everyday business, which is so important when juggling academics, athletics, and relationships.
I am now curious how I can stay committed to the path of mindfulness and compassion in this world that rewards speed, competition, and productivity, on which I thrive. This statement makes me think that if I were to design a future addition to this course, I would incorporate more guided meditation sessions. This is because with the class being held in the late afternoon, we all have had busy days leading up to class and doing a quick meditation session would be beneficial to all. These sessions would not have to be long—as brief as two minutes to reset/breathe or end the class with a guided meditation to rest easy at night. I also think incorporating current events into our group discussions would make them more relevant sometimes, and more classmates would be inclined to participate. In my opinion, the intersection between activism and engaged Buddhism would be an interesting topic, particularly for young individuals attempting to strike a balance between introspection and external action.
Lastly, “finding stillness in the storm” would be my choice to sum up this course and my educational journey in a single sentence. This course provided me with the skills to remain grounded in the face of uncertainty, to let go of the need to control, and to confront life with greater awareness and clarity, which is why I enjoy this statement. I really enjoyed learning a new philosophy outside of how I was raised. As I move forward, I hope to continue trying to live this Buddhist philosophy: to show up with mindful attention, to practice the right action, and to contribute to a more compassionate world.
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