I had the good fortune to meet Robert Thurman in 2002 or 2003—I can’t remember the exact year—in New York City. To my great surprise he called me at my home in Chicago. These were days before the widespread use of the Internet, and smartphones as we know them today didn’t yet exist. We’d never met, but I was not unknown in New York, having performed there on any number of occasions, even being reviewed in the The New York Times twice—once by Jennifer Dunning, something I am proud of. I moved in dance circles and in the world of Asian art, but not in Buddhist circles. To this day, I don’t how he heard of me, or Core of Culture, or how he found my number, although I was listed in the telephone directory.
Robert told me he had heard of my non-profit organization, Core of Culture, which I had only just established after working with monks at Lamayuru Monastery in Ladakh, thanks to my wonderful teacher Sonam Kunga Rinpoche. I still direct Core of Culture today, and recently embarked on a five-year project with Drikung Kagyu monasteries in Ladakh. Core of Culture is dedicated to safeguarding intangible culture, with an emphasis on endangered dances, and movement traditions in healing, meditation, and martial arts.
Robert asked if we could meet at Tibet House US during my next trip to New York City, and I said yes, of course. I knew who he was, and everyone pretty much knew about Tibet House, a fixture of the downtown Manhattan scene.
The day came and I went to Tibet House to meet him. Robert walked out to greet me. I am surprised, after reading any number of tributes to him and his extraordinary life, that no one mentioned what a mountain of a man he was: charismatic, kind, and huge. He reached out to shake my hand, and I stopped in my tracks. I had never seen such magnificent hands: enormous, masculine hands. He saw my astonishment and smiled. I took my left hand and held his fifth finger, and my right hand took his thumb, and I just marveled for a minute.
Then he said, “So, you’re the dance guy?”
I laughed a bit and replied, “Yeah, I suppose I am.”
“No,” he said firmly, “You’re the dance guy.”
This seemed a bit a strange, but he was very kind, and I answered, “Okay, I’m the dance guy.”
“No,” he insisted, his voice quite direct. He took his two enormous hands, and wrapped my small, folded hands in his. Holding them, he said more strongly, “You’re the Dance Guy.” He was still holding my hands in his, and we were looking eye-to-eye. This meant he was looking down and I was looking up.
He continued, “You’re the Dance Guy. You’re not the Dalai Lama guy, you’re not the Free Tibet guy, you’re not the government-in-exile guy, you’re not the humanitarian guy, you’re not the academic guy. You’re the Dance Guy. Be the Dance Guy.”
Still looking intently at each other, I said, “I will. I’ll be the Dance Guy.”
He let go of my hands and said, “Good. We need one. We don’t have one.”
He then went on to deliver his scheduled talk that day, and I had a chance to hear his legendary ability to speak, and teach, and captivate an audience.
I have never forgotten what he directed me to do, in such an offbeat way, well-suited to my own offbeat character. It was so wise and necessary. I still conduct my work according to his great guidance in bringing total focus to what I do best, undistracted by anything else. This little encounter is the merest footnote to his outsized life, but I am sure that I am not to only one to whom he provided guidance and clarity.
Why would he even care to reach out to meet me to tell me this? It was a great act of kindness and concern. I will never forget it. I will never forget him and his enormous hands. Robert Thurman clarified the direction my life’s work. I am so grateful to him.
See more
Related features from BDG
The Acrobat Family
‘Tis a Gift to Be Simple
Performing a Noh Dance for Merce Cunningham
Related news reports from BDG
Robert Thurman, Buddhist Scholar and Co-founder of Tibet House US, Has Died
American Buddhist Scholar Robert Thurman to Receive India’s Padma Shri Award
